Good Bye 2018 and Hello 2019

As I have tried to look back and take stock of the past year, one word keeps leaping out to describe what it has looked like, and that word is TURMOIL. Even though there have been so many great moments and milestones this year, there has also been a lot of upheaval, frustration, and change. 2018 seemed like THE year for so many emotions. It was a year filled with deployments, re-entries, job changes, relationship changes, loss of loved ones, hurt feelings, health scares, and personal battles. It seemed like every time I turned around I had to face hurt, either for myself or those that I love. 2018 was also the year where I prayed the most gut-wrenching and hard-to-pray prayers, and also where I could no longer ignore the face in the mirror and instead had to make some major changes. So, needless to say, I was more than ready to ring in 2019. I have no idea what this next year could possibly look like, but there are a few things, mostly mantras, I am hoping to take with me into this year.

1. I want to be brave and to continue telling my story, including the hard and ugly parts. I want to be brave to inspire others to be brave, and I also want my story to help others know that they aren't alone.

2. My word for this year is Peace. I have battled  A LOT of anxiety this year (most of it probably unwarranted), and in 2019, I want those chains broken. I do not want my fears of unknowns to take away from living my best life. I also do not want that fear to steal the joy I have in each day with those I love and the things that I am already blessed with... NOT TODAY SATAN!!

3. I AM WORTH IT!! I need to remember that I am worth it because the One who made me has declared it so. I am worth choosing my best yes. I am worth choosing a healthier option. I am worth the grace required when I stumble and stumble again. I am worth it to realize that I am a work in progress and not a finished product.

4. Finally, ... BUT GOD! These past few years have not gone anywhere close to the road I would have chosen for myself or anyone else, but it was the journey to which I was led. There have been so many things that have seemed utterly impossible, but then God showed up in ways that blew my mind. There are still many things that are elephants in the room which are going to take God-sized miracles to overcome, but I am choosing to attach those two powerful words to the end of them. BUT GOD!!

2019: Here's to being able to thrive more than just survive. Here's to being a better, stronger version of myself, and here's to God to doing immeasurably more than I could ask for or imagine.

Some of the highlights of 2018 in pictures: