Tim Tebow once said "I don't know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future."
I have come back to this quote again and again, especially this month and especially this week. Going to the doctor and getting these risky tests done never seems to get any easier even with what I DO know. I have said it a hundred times and will say it hundreds more; I go back to what I know and not what I feel. I KNOW that God is good, God is faithful, and God is still God. The thing that is scary is what I DON'T know. I do not know what God's will is or what He will allow in my life, or what He will call me to do.I could not even fathom that four years ago today, February 22,2010, that I would be allowed to face the battle of a lifetime, a battle that would change me on the inside and the outside. Looking back, I cannot help but be amazed at the bountiful miracles that came my way. I have the most beautiful, spirited daughter, closer relationships with my family, new friends, and the largest army of prayers warriors just to name a few. These miracles are why I write about and remember that red letter day. The day of my diagnosis is like my New Year. New Year's Day is the time for people to reflect back on the previous year and make resolutions to better themselves or to better their lives. February 22nd is my time to reflect back on my new normal. It is a time to count my blessings, to express my gratitude, and to keep finding my silver linings. The biggest prayer of these last fours years, besides healing of course, is that this cancer journey would not be in vain but that so much good would come from it. Joel 2:25 says "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." Well, I have mourned for what I have lost, and I will now look forward with hope to see the abundance He has in store for me.
As for this present moment, I am relishing the peace that comes with having a clean scan, and I am praying that my meds will help with my thyroid. I am also prepping for another health conscious week. I have my heart ablation on Wed the 26th. Thankfully, I know Who goes on before me and who stands behind. On the upside, I can be grateful that going to the doctor is still a nerve-wracking experience because it definitely forces me to stay on my knees praying for peace, grace and mercy from the Ultimate Healer.
So here is to a Happy 4th anniversary to me!!!
