After my 5 hr appointment at the TACTICS clinic, I am seriously considering writing a book called Cancer: the hamster wheel keeps on turning. No one ever tells you that the journey never ends. Cancer is embedded into the very pavement of the road of your life. After diagnosis, they mention risks but it takes a backstage to keeping you alive. Then you begin treatment, taking each day as it comes, but always with the hope of having one day of coming back to health. You finish treatment and wait for the sacred results that say cancer free. Life becomes rosy, and the little bumps in the road are just pebbles beneath your feet. Looking around, you realize you are at the summit of the cancer mountain and ahead lies a life free from nausea, wigs, pokes, and prods. As you descend into this new stage of life, doctors seem to appear on the road at every turn. It turns out that the very means they used to save your life are now on an increased hunt to take it away again. The chemotherapy I took can cause increased problems with my heart not functioning up to par, my lungs stiffening, and having only a 10% chance of future childbearing. The radiation I had leads to greatly increased risks of thyroid cancer and breast cancer and skin cancer. This is all compounded with the usual guilt-ridden lecture of exercise more and get more sleep...Umm Thanks for that I will try to pencil it in.
Rollin Rollin Rollin, the wheels keep on turning. So here is where I am at right now. I am attempting to soak up as much information as I can without making me crazy, and then together with my family try to create the best possible balance of screenings and follow-up with living in the moment of a joyous life. I will admit that I am prone to worry, and the thought that I might possibly get cancer again makes me want to curl up and sob. So, I am focusing on hope. God clearly saved me several times for some purpose that has yet to come. Also, I can rest in the omnipotence and omniscience of God knowing that He's got this and He will give me what I need when I need it. So no need to worry prematurely is what I will keep Rollin Rollin Rollin in my head. By the way, CANCER still SUCKS😁😁😁.
