Heart to Heart

Today started as an ordinary day. I was not thrilled at visiting a third doctor in the last 10 days to say the least. It was a visit to the cardiologist to talk about fixing my SVT (supraventricular tachycardia). This was a long overdue visit because the chemo and recovery had taken precedence the last 4 years (which I still can't believe it has been that long). Anyway, I was heading out and a dear friend Amanda blessed me with a God-moment. She told me that she was so glad that I am healthy enough now to be able to deal with everything else in my life. I answered my usual yeah of course, but as I got into my car, I was floored... Absolutely!!!! Praise God that I am healthy enough to stop surviving and to continue living. Praise God, I get to go to an appointment that does not involve life-shattering news. Praise God I can have a procedure done to make my quality of life better, and take another medicine off of my daily roster. I have to admit, I battle frequently in the valleys of anger and self-pity. I sometimes, subconsciously, put on my cancer goggles, and I see all the ways that cancer messed up my life and my plans. I have a thyroid that is shooting craps, I have permanent visible scars all over, I don't have nearly the amount of energy I am used to, and the list could go on and on. I was so overwhelmed with humility that I cried all the way to the doctors office as I considered all that I do have now because of and in spite of cancer. I am more than blessed for my beautiful messy life. So for now, I am content and happy that life is good, the holidays are almost here, and I can put off any more tests and procedures till the new year. God is good...

                                                       and here is the proof!!!


PS For a health update, I was put on thyroid meds to help with a multitude of things. I have a PET scan first week of Feb and a cardiac ablation Feb 26th. Prayers would be most appreciated.