Sunday, January 20, 2013

I give up....

Fear.... It's made its way back into my life again and is making me crazy. I have my Pet Scan again tomorrow which should be a routine thing, but this time seems more monumental. Its the combination of being sick for several weeks and having the lingering inflammed lymph node in my neck that makes me fearful of the results. I am almost embarrassed to admit it considering what God has already brought me through. I have already faced death and extreme illness and I'm still standing tall on the other side of it. Deep in my heart, I KNOW that God is God and good and faithful but for some reason that has been replaced with the what ifs. Last night at church, we sang the hymn "Because He Lives" God sent his son They called him Jesus He came to love Heal and forgive
He lived and died To buy my pardon An empty grave Is there to prove My Savior lives
(Chorus)
Because he lives I can face tomorrow Because he lives All fear is gone Because I know
He holds the future And life and is worth the living Just because he lives

And then one day I'll cross the river I'll fight life's final war with pain And then as death
Gives way to victory I'll see the lights Of glory and I'll know he lives
While singing the chorus I just burst into tears. He has already fought the battle and won. I literally have no reason to fear.  I remembered that regardless of the outcome of the tests, I have healing through Jesus Christ. I will either ejoy living life on this earth with my amazing family and friends or I will be enjoying glory without any more pain or heartache. So while I wait for the results, I will be constantly giving up my fear to the Ultimate Healer, and try to relish every moment I have with the ones I love. "Get busy Livin or get busy dyin"~ Shawshank Redemption.

So I give up, to give a life to this precious little gift.
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4 comments:

  1. BenBrackSrJanuary 26, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    Dear Lindsay, in your young life you have traveled-and are now where most all of us have not yet walked, but will someday-almost certainly. Christ in you is shining through to encourage all who know you, and all who read your words. Thank you so much for letting Him shine. Unka Benny

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    1. EcclecticnurseJanuary 27, 2013 at 6:30 AM

      Thanks so much Benny. it is really my prayer that beauty will come from these cancer ashes. I pray that I can be an inspiration with my epiphanies and also my reminders to myself of things I already know. I love you all and will be keeping up with your posts. praying for your family.

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  2. Jenn_RNJanuary 28, 2013 at 5:13 AM

    Such profound words yet I know the battle that fear can rage against us. Even though we know we don't have to fear Satan will constantly attack us with it. My fears are not like your yet I know this battle oh so well and thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I doesn't matter how far apart we live or that we don't talk much, I will always consider you to be a very good friend of mine and I will continue to pray for you.

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    1. Jenn_RNJanuary 28, 2013 at 5:15 AM

      I didn't realize it would use my user name lol -

      Jennifer Bassham

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